I love working out on Thursday nights, the time just flies by! Especially now that Survivor is back on. I so couldn't do that show.
I'd like to talk about guilt for a sec if I could. I posted this question to the message boards and got quite a few responses. I never eat my flex points, and I only occasionally eat my activity points. I guess it feels like a crutch to me, like it's permission to cheat or something. Anyways, I went WAY over my limit yesterday and I felt soooo guilty about it. I got depressed and started to worry that I was gonna fall off the wagon cause that's kind of a pattern for me; start going over, stop caring if i go over, stop tracking, gain 5 lbs. I started thinking that I was letting down a bunch of people, my daughter cause I'm not setting a good example, my husband cause this is not the body he married not to mention he pays for my WW membership, the program...me. The thing of it is Lily has weaned herself this past week (a whole other emotional ball of wax) and so I dropped my breastfeeding points so I was down from 32 a day to 23 a day. I've been struggling with this cause it was a bit of a shock to the system. I'm not using it as an excuse cause I chose to eat what I ate. Sometimes I have a hard time stopping myself. I get the 4:00 gimme-some-carbs munchies. Carrot sticks won't cut it, I need bread, chips, crackers or chocolate. I have to break that habit, and soon, I don't like the guilt.
I worked out last night for 45 minutes. I have yet to miss a day which is amazing to me, mind you it's only the 9th day of the month! I would have gone longer but my über-supportive husband was a little TOO supportive last night. Everytime I stopped for a sec to take a sip of water he'd start chanting "Come on! Keep going! Don't stop! Go! Go! Go!" I appreciate all the support and praise he gives me, but sometimes it can be a bit much. I stared to feel like one of those slaves on the ships rowing to the beat of a drum that was getting faster an faster. Gotta love him though. He's never stopped being attracted to me and never once said I needed to lose some weight. He has even jumped on the healthier eating bandwagon and allows me to serve more vegetarian meals and less red meat than he'd normally like.
I finally shared this blog with one of my thin friends. I was very embarassed by it but felt she'd be supportive, which she totally was. I've been hiding it from anyone not WW related, even my husband until a few days ago. Not sure why, I should be proud that I'm taking control and working hard. Weird huh?
Anyways, tons of dishes to do, I didn't get them done last night cause of my shows :)
February 9, 2007
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2 comments:
hey you!! i know what you're going through. i feel guilty when i use some of my fp's and i find it hard to use them all (unless we have something big planned). that is quite a change to go from 32 to 23 points so don't feel guilty if you have a hard time getting used to it. most people drop down 1 point at a time so it's not quite a shock. you are doing so awesome with exercising, doesn't it make you feel good! good for you with sharing this blog with other people, it might actually help keep you accountable. i hope you have a great day!
(wasn't grey's amazing last night??? i was yelling at the tv when it ended like that, i hate cliff hangers!!!)
Hey Amanda,
I think this might be the first time I've posted anything on your blog... but I've been lurking for a while, since I saw you comment on the other Amanda's blog a while back. :)
Anyway, I understand what you mean about all the guilt. It's so, so hard to accept that you're not always going to be perfect, and that there might be minor setbacks. And eek, I can imagine that would be multiplied by the fact that your husband is paying for WW -- that's got to be hard.
But take it easy on yourself -- no one is perfect and flex points are there so you can go out and splurge now and then! It's good for the sanity, trust me! :)
Going down 9 points has got to be a huge challenge too. Look at me -- I recently had to go from 24 to 23 and it's been a huge leap for some reason! Heh. So go slowly and don't beat yourself up if it takes a while to get used to it.
Anyway, I just wanted to say I've been really enjoying your posts so far. I'll keep dropping in now and then to see what you're up to! Best of luck with everyhing!
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